


nicotine stains

by orphan_account



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Cigarettes, Isolation, M/M, Smoking, cigarette smoking is harmful to yourself your friends and the environment, i had to publish something after watching little women i just HAD TO, sorry i can't not write stuff that isnt sad i guess, this has been in my drafts for a long long long time now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-27
Updated: 2020-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:00:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22918111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Wonwoo has always been a chronic smoker and he can't quit because of the right reasons for the wrong boy.
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo & Yoon Jeonghan, Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu
Comments: 1
Kudos: 28





	nicotine stains

**Author's Note:**

> i had to publish something from my drafts after watching little women. thank you, greta gerwig, thank you saoirse ronan, thank you louisa may alcott, thank you jo march. if you haven't seen this film yet, please go and see little women!! in the cinemas if you can!!

It's 10:18 pm.

Wonwoo takes a long drag from his cigarette before he threw it to the ground and put it out with the heel of his shoe. He's been smoking since high school, much to the dismay of his dancer best friend, Soonyoung, but he can't help it. It's gotten him through the roughest times in his life, and instead of bothering other people and being a burden -- physically and emotionally -- he'd rather just isolate himself and turn to these coffin nails. It's still healthier than drugs, that's for sure.

"Long day?" Jeonghan, one of his closest co-workers takes a seat beside him and lights up his own cancer stick. 

"Long day." Wonwoo picks up another stick and starts puffing away, careful not to blow the smoke Jeonghan's way.

They've been friends since they were teenagers and although the duo aren't as close as Wonwoo and Soonyoung, they shared similar interests so they eventually formed a lasting bond over the years. If Soonyoung was Wonwoo's sunshine, Jeonghan was his moonlight, and he was okay with having two different friends for two different moods.

His colleague shifts in his seat and leans closer to the bespectacled boy. "Is it because of him again?" he probes.

"I don't know who you're talking about."

"Don't give me bullshit, Won. I know a face flashed in your mind when I said him." Jeonghan could always read Wonwoo like an open book. They think alike, after all.

Wonwoo sighs and sets his cigarette on the ashtray. It takes a few moments for the boy to break in. "Yes, it's him. Again."

There was a comfortable silence between the two for a long while, only broken up by the occasional clink of their Zippos whenever they light up a new one. It's 11:34 pm.

"I heard you got yelled at earlier today, honey," Jeonghan opened. Wonwoo was avoiding this talk, because he was doing his best to just forget whatever happened today. He half-hoped nobody heard him get reprimanded, too, though that was a feeble wish since the whole department was already at the office by the time he clocked in for work -- three hours late.

"I... haven't been sleeping well lately." Wonwoo opened up. Slowly at first, then all at once.

"It's really been hard recently, you know? I can never figure out Mingyu. He always has this positive demeanor to show around everyone but I know he has his own struggles and it's so, so, so hard to sleep at night knowing he's hurting and that I can't do anything about it." he blurted out.

"Mingyu is his own person and god fucking damn it, if he isn't the most independent person I know -- that man has it all and I can only imagine what it feels like to even be within touching distance of what he is today. But.." he trails off.

"But.. you still care about him?" the golden haired boy completes the former's trail of throught.

"I do, I really do. I still do."

"Even after what he did to you? Even after he toyed with your feelings? Even after he hurt you?" Jeonghan could be a conselor already, he just hasn't had the money to finish his residency.

"I know he broke my heart several times over already, Han, but that's really on me. He never promised me anything other than friendship and I was just too naive, still too inexperienced to understand that he only meant what he said and nothing more. It was really all my fault." Wonwoo was practically breathless after his monologue. "I really just fucking love him, I'm so sorry my heart had to choose him and I lie awake in bed through the night thinking about all the ways I can help him, if he chooses to be helped, but he never does because who the fuck am I even? He has Minghao and Chan to lean on and I am just an insignificant speck in his life no matter how hard I try to become a constant presence around him." he can't help but burst into a quiet weep.

Jeonghan notices and adjusts his seat so he's looking away from the crying boy. Through all the years they've been friends, he already knows Wonwoo prefers when people look away when he's crying, but he appreciates the company. "I'll be fine, don't mind me," he always reassures them.

Jeonghan stands up and paces around the park, his hands tucked inside his coat, entertaining himself by playing footsies with the leaves strewn around the ground. He knew Wonwoo just needs some time to recollect himself. Nine years of friendship; he's used to this already, specially with all of Won's seasonal heartbreaks. 

And as Jeonghan expected -- just like each episode in the past, Wonwoo wipes the last tears for the night, puts his glasses back on, readjusts his baseball cap and stands up as well.

"Do you know why I smoke a pack a day, Han?" Wonwoo musters, through his cracked voice and dry lips, as he braces his arm against his close friend.

Jeonghan takes Wonwoo's hand, locks fingers with him and places their entwined hands in his warm, snug coat pocket. He knows his friend desperately needs it. "You tell me."

"Do you know what a lucky stick is? Whenever you open a new pack, you take the very first stick and flip it upside down. You save it for last. Before you light it up, you make a wish and it'll come true."

"Don't tell me you believe in that shit, Won, you're a rational person."

"I do believe in it. Some people believe in a god, some people believe in the cosmos and the celestial bodies, some people believe their friends, some people, like you, believe in your partner Seungcheol, and some people, like me, believe that there is some Karmic good that comes from slowly destroying your own body to wish for someone else's well-being. A sacrifice -- a penitence, if you will."

"So all of your wishes have been for Mingyu?"

"...Yes." Wonwoo shyly admits.

The two friends amble around the park and settle underneath a street lamp, just enough for Wonwoo to see Jeonghan's beautiful facial features. "But you know what I realized, Jeonghan? Things don't work out between Mingyu and I for a reason. We wouldn't have been a good couple anyway. It didn't work out due to a difference in principles. And above all else -- even above love -- I value my principles." Wonwoo claimed.

"Maybe from today on, I'll try to make wishes for myself. It's just a bad episode, not a bad life." he continues. "And after all, Mingyu and I are still very good friends." he ends.

"Not as good of a friend as I am." the competitive Libra argues.

"Yeah, you're the best." Wonwoo agrees, pulling out the very last stick from his pack of Marlboro Blacks.

"Let's go, angel," Jeonghan tugs Wonwoo by the sleeve of his coat. "I'll treat you to some ice cream." 

The time now is 12:04 am. It's a new day. And for the very first time, Wonwoo is finally going to make a wish for himself.

**Author's Note:**

> stay safe and don't smoke!


End file.
